I love the mommy world. We are good at building each other up. We share memes about deciding between coffee or wine, blog about all that the world expects of us and occasionally complain that our husbands have it easier. We know life is hard so we join mommy groups on how to have great mental health, fulfilled relationships, love our children just as they are and maintain our identities- as superheroes.
I mean, if you are a working mom, you have to wake up earlier, be more prepared, feel the emotions of handing your children to caregivers, still plan dinners, maintain a home, be a sexy wife to your husband and achieve your career goals. Whoa! Superwoman, am I right?
If you are a stay at home mom, you are supposed to create Pinterest crafts, host functions, cook from scratch, volunteer at the kids’ school, not show the loneliness you feel, be a sexy wife to your husband (this is universal) and seamlessly manage your 8,000 responsibilities. Geez! Sounds like Catwoman and Wonder Woman rolled into a woman with leggings and a top knot.
And dads- what do you even do? Roll out of bed and go to work? Slump home at 5 pm, ask for dinner and a beer and halfheartedly kiss the kids goodnight. Psh, dads have it so easy.
Oh but wait. Just as the modern mom has evolved into the most brilliant multitasker, so has the modern dad. I see my husband wake up at 4:45 am to start his calls with the east coast office. Since he is up first, he gets up with the baby and gets him ready, feeds and teaches him a new trick to show me. He does dishes from the night before, tidies the house, starts a load of laundry and continues his work day. He has the pressure of being the sole breadwinner and also the desire to be a present and caring husband and father.
When I am out for a dinner with the girls, I love going around the table and asking the moms who is watching their kids. The answer is always unanimous, “my husband.” Our generation has learned to cross over on life roles. Dads AND moms are wiping butts, going to parent teacher meetings, contributing to the family administration, supporting each other’s dreams and rocking little ones goodnight.
Ask your mom how many diapers your dad changed when you were little. Seriously, ask. Then ask your grandmother. Even if you had the best father and grandfather in the world, my guess would be that they changed less diapers than your husband does. They may have never changed any.
As women, the world expects a lot from us. Let’s face it, women are incredible. But every now and then I slow down and glance over to the 31 year old man that is caring for our 3 sons, tickling them, elbow deep in the poop explosions, watching The Bachelorette with me, turning down happy hours for family time, overcoming the grief of their disabilities and working 16 hours days- the world on his shoulders. He tells me he couldn’t have dreamed of a better life. The world expects a lot from my husband. I expect a lot from him. And when I look over, I see…Superman.